warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/savethee/jocelynrish/modules/taxonomy/taxonomy.pages.inc on line 33.

Tweet Tales Tuesday Week 191

The new TV season started yesterday, which is always a bad time for my writing productivity. For years I’ve had this “rule” that I have to give every show a chance by watching at least one episode because you never know what might turn out better than a terrible sounding premise. 
 
Jane the Virgin is a great example of this from last year – I thought it sounded pretty bad, but it was one of my favorite shows from fall 2014. 
 
Whereas last night I watched Minority Report, which was the fall 2015 show I was most excited about, but I thought it was pretty much a dud. I might give it one more chance, since I still like the premise, but the execution left much to be desired. 
 
Sadly, after reading the descriptions of this year’s new fall shows, the thought of sampling all of them sounds pretty tedious. The lack of originality in the new offerings demonstrates why so many people are turning to Netflix. Actually, I’m not sure if I’ll bother watching them all, and if I do, it will be out of habit rather than interest. Blerg.
 
Hopefully my 15 Minute Tweet Tales are more entertaining than the new shows:
 
9/16 - They had an entente cordiale and were fine with each meeting their needs elsewhere, but when he turned to her sister, the battle began.
 
9/17 - She'd heard the Grand Canyon was mirabile visu but put off seeing it. Cancer diagnosis. A race to the end. Will she get there in time?
 
9/18 - Shouting drew my attention. The burly man's noli-me-tangere glare turned my heart to ice. Her "help me" look compelled me to interfere.
 
9/19 - She tells dad she can't wear prêt-à-porter outfit the 1st day of school. He doesn't understand. Literally. When did his kid get so fancy?
 
15 Minute Tweet Tales9/20 - Grin wide,girl skips with ice cream she saved to buy. It splats on sidewalk. Old woman passing says, "Sic vita est, dearie, get used to it."
 
9/21 - When his wife stepped out in sexy lingerie, he growled, "Vive la différence," ignoring that his man boobs were almost as big as hers.
 
9/22 - Cruel experiment to become someone's weltgeist, his the only face she sees since birth. Stash of books hidden in floorboards saves her.
 
Play along and write tweet tales for the above words. If you’re willing to share, post them on twitter with the hashtag #15tt or add them below in the comments because I’d love to read them. Any thoughts about this week's tweet tales or #15tt words?

Tweet Tales Tuesday Week 190

15 Minute Tweet TalesI’ve been so lost in my own little world that I forgot today was Tuesday, and therefore almost forgot to post my 15 Minute Tweet Tales. But I finally came back to reality, so here they are: 
 
9/9 - The judge meets with lawyers in camera to discuss strategy. The defendant is charming the jurors, but it's disastrous for him to go free.
 
9/10 - The PA spent hours completing mise en place for celebrity chef. Ten minutes before live broadcast, the chef switches recipe with a smirk.
 
9/11 - Her birthday + lights are out + giggling = prima facie surprise party. It's definitely a surprise. Hubby forgot wife was coming home.
 
9/12 - Another jerk cheats on her. Wonders what's wrong with her that none remain semper fidelis. Realizes picking wrong companion. Adopts a dog.
 
9/13 - Desperate to understand his death, she used his GPS to follow his antemortem route. She saw the same thing he did. She met the same fate.
 
9/14 - As he rang up her jugs of acid, the clerk joked, "Trying to get rid of corpus delicti?" Her quiet answering look loosened his bladder.
 
9/15 - I make nice with his girlfriend du jour, hoping one day he'll tire of these bimbos and realize his soulmate is right in front of him.
 
Play along and write tweet tales for the above words. If you’re willing to share, post them on twitter with the hashtag #15tt or add them below in the comments because I’d love to read them. Any thoughts about this week's tweet tales or #15tt words?

Tweet Tales Tuesday Week 189

15 Minute Tweet TalesI haven’t gotten around to writing a blog post about my secret project yet, but it’s not so secret anymore since two of my articles have already been published – I’m now a freelancer for the MTV News website writing about YA books!! Whoo hoo! I’m still planning a blog post with the details of how it all happened, so stay tuned.
 
And now here are my 15 Minute Tweet Tales for the week:
 
9/2 - As the schmo her sister set her up with drones on, she realizes Ivy was exacting revenge for the gum-in-the-hair-before-prom incident.
 
9/3 - Her early arrival at home is apropos to discover her husband's secret: he loads the kids with sugar before leaving for the night shift. #15tt
 
9/4 - His study has the finest collection of belles-lettres in the state. Not that he's read a single one, but he thinks it looks impressive.
 
9/5 - She gives her daughters her good jewelry causa mortis. The ungrateful wretches run out and pawn it. Makes it awkward when she recovers.
 
9/6 - Reads in fashion mag cling wrap is the dernier cri, so wraps herself up and goes out. Didn't realize it goes under clothes for weight loss.
 
9/7 - The rap star is a phenom, but acts like an enfant terrible, not because he wants to but because it's the only way to get media coverage.
 
9/8 - After his shady excuse, she comes home early to catch him in flagrante delicto. She does, but it's not an affair, he's watching a rom-com.
 
Play along and write tweet tales for the above words. If you’re willing to share, post them on twitter with the hashtag #15tt or add them below in the comments because I’d love to read them. Any thoughts about this week's tweet tales or #15tt words?

Tweet Tales Tuesday Week 188

15 Minute Tweet TalesI’ve been working hard on a secret project, or actually it will really be projects, that I’m super exited about. I just finished the first one, and hopefully there will be many more to come. I think I’ll make the official announcement later this week, but for now it's another short and sweet 15 Minute Tweet Tales post.
 
8/26 - He's inspired to paint en plein air, but since he uses his naked wife as his canvas, his masterpiece goes to jail for indecent exposure.
 
8/27 - His dorm's covered with film noir posters, so she hopes she's found THE ONE who gets her darkness. They belong to his roommate. Who's gay.
 
8/28 - A rabbit screams. She finds Grand Guignol display of her dog's hunting prowess. It'll be a while before she feels comfortable cuddling him.
 
8/29 - Shelf holding viruses being experimented on in vitro crashes to the ground. Six months later, the few remaining humans huddle in bunkers.
 
8/30 - Psychic: You'll see a cardinal before death. Every flash of red in sky becomes memento mori. A chandelier falling in church kills her.
 
8/31 - People say their boss is crazy, but hers is truly non compos mentis. He's nice, so she tries to cover, but he keeps forgetting his pants.
 
9/1 - He didn't have the charisma to be a true paterfamilias to his clan, so he spiked the drinks with drops of his blood to bind them to him.
 
Play along and write tweet tales for the above words. If you’re willing to share, post them on twitter with the hashtag #15tt or add them below in the comments because I’d love to read them. Any thoughts about this week's tweet tales or #15tt words?

Tweet Tales Tuesday Week 187

15 Minute Tweet TalesI’ve got some longer posts coming up over the next week or so, so I’m keeping this one short and sweet and getting straight to my 15 Minute Tweet Tales
 
8/19 - Mom declares the twins pari passu; but since one has her husband's blue eyes and the other her lover's green eyes, that's not really true.
 
8/20 - "Raus!" she shouts so loud it scares the cat from the room, but it's directed at the chin hair that keeps slipping from her tweezers.
 
8/21 - Beauty is sine qua non to be chosen by prince, so she's proud to be selected. Locked in dungeon, she finally wonders, “Chosen for what?”
 
8/22 - He says he volunteers for tour after tour due to amor patriae, but she hears him talk in his sleep and knows it's the thrill of the kill.
 
8/23 - Every theory he had was contra mundum, so he was scorned by the scientific community. As the world burns, they wish they'd listened.
 
8/24 – The salesclerk convinced me the tight, leather dress is hot. She's right - after dancing five minutes, I feel like meat cooked sous vide.
 
8/25 - Slips on silk robe, pours champagne, lounges in sun. Dolce far niente is life for her. Front door opens. Panic. Lady of house home early.
 
Play along and write tweet tales for the above words. If you’re willing to share, post them on twitter with the hashtag #15tt or add them below in the comments because I’d love to read them. Any thoughts about this week's tweet tales or #15tt words?

Tweet Tales Tuesday Week 186

15 Minute Tweet TalesThe past week has been interesting on Facebook as many of my friends post pictures of their kids on the first day of school. First of all, SO MANY ADORABLE KIDS!!! Second, it makes me feel old to see my high school friends posting pictures of their kids … in high school!! Where the heck as the time gone?!? Good luck to all the kiddos as they embark on a new school year!
 
And now here are my 15 Minute Tweet Tales for the past week:
 
8/12 - The King is an idiot, but his mother is an éminence grise who keeps the people from revolting. He only lasts two months after her death.
 
8/13 - He grins, says, "Fiat lux!" and flips the switch. A sizzling sound. Power goes off in entire subdivision. His neighbors dread December.
 
8/14 - We input the latest outbreaks for analysis of our containment efforts. The screen goes black, then displays: GRAVIORA MANENT. Uh oh.
 
8/15 - He asks lawyer, "What about habeas corpus?" "They literally have a body covered with your bloody fingerprints. No judge will go for it."
 
8/16 - When he arrives at brunch, everyone glares at him. Memory hazy, he suspects in vino veritas got the best of him at the rehearsal dinner.
 
8/17 - Despite beauty treatments, poise classes, and even plastic surgery, she's a Disney princess manqué, roaming the park in her Goofy costume.
 
8/18 - As oldest of nine siblings, she became nil admirari to deal with the chaos, but sadly that meant even the good things were less exciting.
 
Play along and write tweet tales for the above words. If you’re willing to share, post them on twitter with the hashtag #15tt or add them below in the comments because I’d love to read them. Any thoughts about this week's tweet tales or #15tt words?

Tweet Tales Tuesday Week 184

15 Minute Tweet TalesHere we are in the first week of August. I’m still not exactly sure how that happened. When I was young, I hated when the calendar flipped over to August because it meant the start of school was just a few weeks away. So even now I still have the feeling that the start of August means the end of something fun, which is pretty silly since it really just means more hot, muggy weather. 
 
And now here are my 15 Minute Tweet Tales for the week:
 
7/29 - In 3rd grade he pulled her ponytail, a casus belli in a conflict that raged thru high school until the passion fully bloomed to love.
 
7/30 - "This is dreck!" King declares. Chef hides a smile, not minding the insult this time, since he spiced the stew from King's own chamber pot.
 
7/31 - "Because I love him, he makes me happy, et cetera." "Et cetera shouldn't be part of the reason you marry a man whose last 3 wives died."
 
8/1 - As he realized his son died because he forgot him in the hot car, the pain felt like hara-kiri. He took a quicker way out and used a gun.
 
8/2 - "You are, inter alia, a lying, manipulative jerk! I can't say the other things, since I don't want to use cuss words to describe my son."
 
8/3 - Her modus operandi was to bail when things got serious. It kept her heart safe though a bit lonely. Everything changed when she met him.
 
8/4 - The detective was brilliant but ineffective. His solves were such non sequiturs that juries couldn't follow the evidence to guilty verdicts.
 
Play along and write tweet tales for the above words. If you’re willing to share, post them on twitter with the hashtag #15tt or add them below in the comments because I’d love to read them. Any thoughts about this week's tweet tales or #15tt words?

Tweet Tales Tuesday Week 183

15 Minute Tweet TalesBlerg. I’ve been a colossal failure at Camp NaNo this month. I could never settle on a project. I jumped from one thing to another, but nothing felt like it was the one calling to me. The only positive is I did some solid brainstorming on a variety of ideas that have been rattling around in my head even if no real writing got done. I hope y’all managed to get more words on paper than I did!
 
And now for my 15 Minute Tweet Tales for the week:
 
7/22 - I laughed at my nanna's meshugga insistence that her neighbor was an alien. I wasn't laughing the day I saw him swallow a cat whole.
 
7/23 - "She knew exactly what she was doing, nicht wahr, Mrs. Jones?" Her tears instantly cease, and she grins at the destruction she wrought.
 
7/24 - Sharing the mayor's face was Ty's passe-partout to the city's pleasures, but when the mob comes to kill his twin, they don't let Ty explain.
 
7/25 - "Your new hairstyle is sui generis." It's the only thing she could think to tell her friend, who'd spent a fortune on that abomination.
 
7/26 - Constant horror on the news warped her Weltanschauung, so she feared going outside. A twin-engine crashing into her house killed her.
 
7/27 - A voice inside the armoire calls my name. I yank open the door but find only sweaters. Too bad, I'd hoped for a portal to another world.
 
7/28 - "If you think you'll be better off without me, then leave. Bonne chance!" Her words echoed like a curse through his miserable life.
 
Play along and write tweet tales for the above words. If you’re willing to share, post them on twitter with the hashtag #15tt or add them below in the comments because I’d love to read them. Any thoughts about this week's tweet tales or #15tt words?

Tweet Tales Tuesday Week 181

Freya and Chloe

Yesterday was a bit nerve-wracking because both dogs had to undergo surgery. They had their regular checkup last week, and since they’re getting older, the visit was not as routine as it used to be. Turns out Freya’s mouth is a mess (yes, I’m a terrible mom, but the few times I tried to brush her teeth it was traumatizing for both of us), so she needed a major teeth/gum cleaning and the vet thought she might have to pull some teeth. Even scarier, Chloe had a lump on her leg that the vet was very concerned about. Thinking they might be slightly less scared if they were there together, we decided do both procedures the same morning.
 
Fortunately, everything went well. Freya did not have to have any teeth pulled, so I don’t have to change her name to Toofless. And the vet thinks she removed all of Chloe’s lump, although results from the lab are still pending. After she got home, Freya spent the rest of the day lying around moaning. It was pretty pathetic (and just a little funny). I told her, "Suck it up, buttercup! Your sister had a lot worse done, and she's not complaining." Chloe just sat around with a look on her face like the kid in the Youtube video after the dental procedure, "Is this real life?" My poor silly babies! The picture is from a much happier day.
 
And now here are my 15 Minute Tweet Tales: 
 
7/8 - "Mazel tov." The words burn, forced from my aching heart. I thought he'd eventually realize I was the one, but now he's chained to her.
 
7/9 - She seduced the renowned chef to have nouvelle cuisine at every meal, so she's pissed when he only eats frozen pizzas when not at work.
 
7/10 - Despite her hardened heart, she falls for her john poco a poco. But "Pretty Woman" dreams are dashed when he moves on to younger girl.
 
7/11 - A bite of bagel puts schmeer on her cheek. She leaves it there. She needs to know if he's the type of guy who'll tell her these things.
 
15 Minute Tweet Tales7/12 - If she didn't want tout le monde to know about her third boob, she probably shouldn't have sent a guy she met online a revealing selfie.
 
7/13 - A plus sign appears on the stick, and she starts to cry as a wave of angst overwhelms her. Is the father her husband or his brother?
 
7/14 - Her heart flutters when a hot guy gives her his seat on the crowded bus. Turns out it's a beau geste, since he gets off at the next stop.
 
Play along and write tweet tales for the above words. If you’re willing to share, post them on twitter with the hashtag #15tt or add them below in the comments because I’d love to read them. Any thoughts about this week's tweet tales or #15tt words?

Tweet Tales Tuesday Week 180

15 Minute Tweet TalesI hope everyone had a fabulous 4th of July weekend! My family did our usual thing at the lake house: swimming with the pups, grilling, watermelon margaritas, homemade peach ice cream, and watching the fireworks show over the water. It was a lot of fun, but not at all conducive to writing, so as usual I am in a deep word hole this first week of NaNo. But I’m not worried, since I’m always more productive when the pressure is on!
 
And now here are my 15 Minute Tweet Tales for the week:
 
7/1 - "How about an apéritif?" She meets his eyes and gasps. She doesn't need her appetite whetted for the meal she wants to make of him.
 
7/2 - His girlfriend adores her cat, but it's his bête noire. He tries being nice to it, but it barfs in his shoes and trips him on the stairs.
 
7/3 - She must convince everyone that aliens have landed AND that she's compos mentis. She flushes her meds. It's up to her to save humanity.
 
7/4 - She has gum on her derrière, but he doesn't tell her – he doesn't want to seem like a creep. He hopes she doesn't end up too embarrassed.
 
7/5 - Beautiful woman at the bar surprised him by being en rapport with his likes. Also surprised him later when she charged for her services.
 
7/6 - He tries not to grimace as he unwraps his festschrift, but his colleagues are such poor academics, he'd hoped for a gold watch instead.
 
7/7 - As a camp counselor, she must act in loco parentis, which seems like a terrible idea for 16yo who can't even keep her hamster alive.
 
Play along and write tweet tales for the above words. If you’re willing to share, post them on twitter with the hashtag #15tt or add them below in the comments because I’d love to read them. Any thoughts about this week's tweet tales or #15tt words?